By Alex Chew

Have you ever come across someone who just kept saying that a long distance relationship would not work no matter how hard you try? It even sounds more familiar when he/she ends the conversation with the universal phrase such as “I know it because I saw lots of failed LDR” If you choose to listen to this kind of comment, then you choose to fail in your long distance relationship because you will never be able to survive your LDR. The reason is simple, you choose to listen to the wrong command or choose to believe the wrong concept.

I truly believe that everyone in this world have their own opinion which is best to them all the time. What they think is true to them because they are capable of thinking only the true thing. I don’t blame them because they are true at least in their own little world. It is all up to us to believe what is said or we can choose to believe that every outcome is at our own hand. Let me tell you this, you can completely determine your own outcome when it comes to a long distance relationship. How you think what you do can really determine the result of your LDR. If you choose to believe that you can determine the outcome of your long distance relationship, then your LDR journey will becomes easier or more predictable.

Below are some examples of the positive choices you can make in relation to your long distance relationship.

1) Believe in Yourself, Your Partner and the Relationship

Throughout the period of a long distance relationship, nothing beats the trust and believes you had in yourself, your partner and the relationship. You can prepare yourself whatever you want but if you do not believe that your long distance relationship will work then, nothing matters anymore. Therefore, you must choose to believe that the relationship will work regardless of all the odds mounting against your relationship.

2) Set Back is a Way to Strengthen your Relationship

There are no such things as a perfect romantic relationship and needless to say when it comes to long distance relationships. Set back is part and parcel of a relationship but how you tune yourself to see the set back is very important. You can choose to see it negatively or positively and the outcome (solutions) derived from what you choose can determine the course of your relationship. Therefore, instead of viewing the set back as a hindrance or threat to your long distance relationship, you must view it as an opportunity for you to strengthen the relationship.

3) You can Choose to Win or Lose

It is our nature to see only the negative side of everything due to lack of self confidence and uncertainties. We do not blame you for having this thought as most of the couples in long distance relationship we work with, expressed the same concern. However do you know that the success rate for long distance relationship couples is as good as any other relationship? Research has proven that the success rate for long distance relationship is as high as 85%. With this data, you can choose to be in the positive 85% or choose to stay in the failure 15%. Therefore if you are serious about your long distance relationship, you must put yourself among the success 85%.

4) Opportunity in Distance

Physical distance in a long distance relationship is not necessary bad to the relationship. Although physical distance prevents you from certain physical activities such as hand holding, kissing, hugging and sex, it does not prevent you from advancing further into the relationship. The physical distance is a good opportunity for you to rediscover the relationship and yourself. You can always take the opportunity to upgrade yourself while your partner is away such as taking up the courses that you have always wanted to take and etc. In fact the distance will also test your patience, the love you had for your partner and as well as the integrity of the relationship itself. Therefore, instead of focusing on what you cannot do over the distance, you can always focus on what you can do to improve your relationship from the distance. What you choose here could really determine whether you are happy or not throughout your long distance relationship.

5) Problem in Communication.

Communication is one of the biggest elements that could either make or break your long distance relationship. Unfortunately, many people believe that they are not going to make it when it comes to communication due to the difficulties, time and cost involve. Instead of looking at the problems, you can always think of the opportunity that comes along. The biggest opportunity here is to learn how to communicate effectively over the distance. The valuable skill cannot be learned anywhere else as distance will automatically sharpen your conversation skill. If you start to think carefully, all other problem mentioned earlier can be solved easily with current available technology (Internet, VOIP phone, email and etc). Therefore, it is proven again that you have the ability to choose what is best for you in regards to long distance communication.

There are two sides to every coin and the above are just some of the examples of the choices you can make in your long distance relationship. How or what you choose really makes the difference throughout the period of your long distance relationship. The choice is at your hand, choose correctly and you will triumph regardless of any relationship. Lastly, I on behalf of Perfect-Relationship.com would like to wish you all the best to your long distance relationship.
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By Sterling Mayfield

Some psychologists tell us that of all issues in a relationship that have an impact on its quality, trust is near the top. Trust has a huge impact on the way we think, the way we behave, and the choices we make. Consequently, trust can make a huge impact on the quality of our relationships. And in the way we view trust and view the way it affects our relationships we often make two mistakes:

Mistake No. 1
We typically view trust in a very limited way. We view it as an absolute. We believe that in a relationship, trust either exists or it doesn't exist. What we fail to see is that trust can exist in certain areas but not in others. If we are to develop trust we must learn to develop it one step at a time in each of its individual areas.

Mistake No. 2
In trying to develop trust we look to others to make changes, rather than looking to the person who potentially is best qualified to make changes--our self. As much as we would like to believe we can influence change in others, the truth is, lasting and meaningful change can only happen within us if we, ourselves, make it happen. Change comes from certain attitudes such as commitment, understanding, acceptance, and willingness to pay necessary prices. Changes-or improvements-in these attitudes can only come from within ourselves.

Now, let's look at how trust-or the absence of trust-can affect our relationships. Then, we'll look at how we can earn trust and how we can develop our ability to trust.

Elements of Trust
First, we need to better understand these two elements of trust:

* 1. trust earned
* 2. trust learned

Each has it's own separate and unique way of deterring fear-or mistrust, and each has its own unique way of promoting greater trust.

So, to begin understanding more about these elements, let us examine them both.

Element #1. Trust Earned
To understand how we can earn trust, let's look at 3 positive components that contribute to a nurturing relationship.

Component A : Understanding
If we are going to expect members of our family to discuss with us certain problems they may have, problems that may involve their hurts, fears, needs, etc., it is essential that they trust us to listen, understand, and withhold judgment and criticism. Unless we are willing and able to do this, we will have little hope of gaining enough of their trust that they will be open with us.

Component B: Honesty
In earning trust from others about our honesty, often we will need to choose between the benefits of being trusted and benefits of deception, such as personal pleasures, recognition, and validation. To earn greater trust we sometimes may find it necessary to be more transparent and vulnerable. The more mistakes, selfishness, and pride we hide from others, the more we invite their mistrust.

Component C: Caring
Few psychologists or human behaviorists will disagree with the premise that being valued and loved is an essential factor in creating and maintaining a loving and trusting relationship. If we are to develop and maintain this kind of thriving relationship we must earn trust from those who need our love and caring, and those we depend on for this love and caring. Such trust can only come from honest and sincere caring and appreciation. Any attempt to create an insincere impression of caring and appreciation, where real caring and appreciation do not truly exist, will eventually backfire and destroy any trust that might have already existed.

Element #2. Trust Learned
Some human behaviorists believe that inability to trust is linked to one of two beliefs or perceptions:

Perception A. Painful Experiences
If we have experienced emotional pain which we believe another person has caused, and if we believe-even if this belief is unconscious-that we are still vulnerable to emotional pain, we will likely find it quite difficult to trust.

Perception B. Failure To Believe In Our Own Empowerment
Some family therapists believe that certain types of mistrust are, in reality, fear of being hurt. Some believe that this mistrust is a defense against emotional pain. They will tell you that the person who has found a way to a) resist or avoid emotional pain, or b) rebound from emotional pain, is less likely to fear emotional pain. This person is, therefore, more likely to trust. The person who has gained greater empowerment has learned from experience that a well-developed sense of empowerment not only can reduce the severity of pain but can also reduce its frequency. In either case, he will have less need to protect himself, less need to fear, and less need to mistrust.

So, if we are willing to learn more about ourselves and the changes we can make to earn trust and to learn to trust, we will have taken the first step in developing these two kinds of trust. And having learned and developed them, ourselves, we can be more assured that others in our family will also learn and develop them.
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By Bonnie Moss

This is the 21st century. There are so many more factors and issues that add stress to relationships. There are more demands on time, higher expectations, more toys and gadgets, high-stress careers or profession. Each member of a family needs more space, more independence and more freedom

Patience, perseverance, tolerance, convenience and self-sacrifice kept relationships together in the past centuries. There was a strong sense of family and community. Domestic squabbles were kept private. Families work on their issues and try to resolve these as best as they can. Going separate ways was not an answer even if it was the only answer. Life was simpler. There was more time to spend with family and friends.

Today, people are more aware and protective of their space, independence and privacy. People want more. Technology is very much part of life today. There are pros and cons. This is supposed to provide more convenience to our daily lives. Little did we know that a technology driven society develops an addiction to the toys and gizmos that consume a lot of time. Most everyone today need to be wired, including the younger ones. It’s part of the wardrobe.

High maintenance lifestyle is mainly geared to the material and physical side. This contributes to the fragility of relationships. Add to this the perennial shortage of time, there are never not enough hours in the day. With so much materialism in our society, financial and economic issues become a burden some face with blinders on till a crisis topples
their tower.

Raising children today seems to get more and more complicated. There is so much to want, to do, to have even when resources are limited. These young ones are more demanding. With the advent of technology, so much information is available at a very young age. This younger generation of technologically smart children have a good grasp on how to use this technology. They are indeed better informed than the previous generation at the same age.

Downside to this is that young children develop a strong sense of independence when they should be enjoying the warmth and comfort of a loving hand, holding them, re-assuring them and protecting them. They are growing up too fast, mature too soon and miss out on the simplicity, joy and innocence of childhood years. They spend too much time in the electronic playground.

Family relationships have its own complications and intricacies. Some children go their own way leaving their parents behind and at times, neglected and forgotten. Or the other way- parents give up on their offspring.

Siblings go in different directions, separated by distance or financial and social status, or even by beliefs. They become strangers to one another. This is sad. There is a common bond between siblings that is their birth- right which can not or should not be broken.

Families forget that it is not that difficult to stay connected if we only take a few minutes to take the time to drop a line or to call. Time is a welcome gift especially during special days- just a few precious minutes can fill the void. If shared more often, this strengthens the relationship and family members will no longer be strangers to one another.

Family is supposed to provide a solid base for society. But, the reality is that it is less complicated to cement ties with friends than with one’s own blood relatives.
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By Kirthy Shetty

Is enough care being taken by family members, where in both the husband and wife are career oriented. Kids don't have enough of knowledge about their own culture, ethnicity and how diverse it is from others. Their lifestyle varies in comparison to the rest of them. You find more and more strained family relationship too.

Kids are often left at daycare center while older ones spend the whole day at school. They sometimes do not even have enough time to talk about their individual lives let alone spend a day of fun together.
But building good relationships with one's children does not really have to be spent the whole day.

How can you improve your strained relationship?

Small tips for you to repair your relationship. Even short conversation, small gestures of love and affection, kissing or caressing the little ones, or your spouse can make a lot of difference in your life. Little things that you do everyday whether they be for an hour or for just a few minutes are enough especially when done with sincerity and commitment to strengthening and enhancing the bonds that you have with your spouse and children if any.

Take enough time for one another by going on dates with your spouse or having family outings. It's amazing what an excursion can do for a family like yours. You don't do the talking all the time, lend a patient ear to your partner or kids too. Listen what he/she has to say about his office or school. Have dinner together or saying prayers together can build a strong solidarity.

Parents with mobile phones for instance can keep track of their older children through mobile phones. Messages left in a family bulletin board or posted on the refrigerator are also great ways of maintaining your presence in your child's life. Help them in whatever small way you can, probably a presentation or some project. Gifting them something once a while shows that you care for them.

Another effective way in building family relationships is finding a common ground and making compromises not only on your schedules but also on your various interests. It is a good idea to take turns going to your favorite places when out on a family trip. Take their opinion on where they would want to go, rather than forcing up on your choice on them.
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By Kent Pinkerton

The most reliable and true relationship is the one that a person has with his family. A family represents a variety of relationships that influence our lives right from birth to old age. Family relationships not only provide food and shelter but also serve as a shoulder to lean on, in case of trouble. As morals and values are generally attained through family relationships, the family plays a vital role in sustaining and preparing an individual for life in society. Strong family relationships, marked by intimacy and honesty, offer a sense of shared identity and long lasting joy and fulfillment.

As it is integral to social and emotional development, parenthood or parent-child relationship is considered the core of a family. But, nowadays, it is often seen that parents work for long hours and do not have enough time to spare for their children. Little ones are usually left at home or in child care centers. By the time parents reach home, the child will be asleep. Building good relationships does not require a whole day. But, little conversations and gestures of comfort will definitely help to build a sound foundation.

Among the different ways of building healthy family relationships is to schedule time for small talk with family members including the spouse, parents and children. Hugging or kissing kids when you return home after work is a great way to express your love and concern. Similarly, leaving messages when you are away from home is also effective to maintain communication. In addition, it is important to have a parent's physical presence during children's school activities such as school presentations, school plays, sporting events and teacher conferences.

For a fulfilling family environment, it is necessary to be with them when your children or dear ones yearn for your presence. Extremely busy persons can schedule a family getaway at least once a month. Likewise, dialogue meetings around the dinner table at least once a week are healthy. This gives each member of the family an opportunity to speak out his opinions on various topics. Family reunions must also be arranged occasionally to build healthy family relationships.
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By Ann Keeler Evans

In the long run, you're going to walk away from your wedding (well, many of you will!) marveling at how wonderful it was to see your whole family gathered around and wondering why you never get together just to hang out.

Your family's are going to be so happy to have caught up with one another's lives and stories and maybe to have had one last visit with Great Aunt Jane. Little cousins are going to meet and find out that they really do have families.

Our lives are so different from 2 generations ago, when people mostly grew up and married in the same towns in which they'd been born. You saw extended family at church and picnics and holidays. Now we almost always have to travel to see family. We have to divide our time between my family and yours.

We're clannish beings, we human beings, we like being connected. We like looking like our forebears and discovering that we have similar interests as people we're related to.

Now, because you have this great list with everyone's name on it, you can work at getting connected. You can (easily) become the family organizer. Take the skills you used setting up your wedding home page to set up an on-line home for your families. Plan a reunion. Find ways to stay in touch and keep others in touch in both virtual and real ways. You'll be surprised who wants to be "in" the family.

1. Set up a Facebook page for your family (families?): It may be that your parents enjoyed getting to know one another. Connect people. Ask for recipes, genealogies, knitting patterns or instructions in changing the oil in your car or a light bulb. Make it a club people want to join. It doesn't take much to stir the pot. And most people from grandma on down are on Facebook.
2. Plan a Family Work Day: Choose a favorite charity and go spend a day working together. Picking up trash along a river or helping a disabled person winterize their dwelling is something everyone's willing to do, regardless of political affiliations! Plan a picnic or a barbecue at the end of the day.
3. Plan a Family Retreat: Make it big. Find a church camp where you can all stay off season, invite families from both sides and invite your sibs to invite their families from both sides. Take walks, play games, cook together and have an all around great time. The kids will all get to know one another, the elders can explain the ins and outs of social medicine to one another and you've had a cheap and fun weekend!

There are plenty of other ways to keep your families connected and growing. Each one of them keeps you working together on your marriage and your family. It helps your families view you as a couple they want to support. And that's the way it should be! You've got the skills. Now put them to use, building a community that will support your marriage's health and well-being!
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If you are having a tough time with your mother-in-law, I've been there and I know how painful it is! At the beginning of our marriage my in-laws openly and covertly criticized me. The conflict reached blow-out proportions on occasion. Marriage and raising children are challenging enough without conflict with our in-laws. I wouldn't wish in-law troubles on anyone. Fortunately, I found a better way that I am going to share with you.

So what was the key to transforming my relationship with my in-laws? I had the fortune to take a course from a woman, Suzanne Raja of Warrior Sage. She shared her story of going from in-laws who were dead-set against her, to being the adored daughter-in-law. Even better, Suzanne didn't sacrifice her values or do anything she didn't want to do in order to win them over. I vowed to follow her approach, and the results have been so wonderful!

Just to assure you that our conflict was real, I'll describe a few of the challenges we faced during the first few years of our marriage. One memorable blow-out occurred while we were visiting them at Christmas. My husband Rob and I were lying in bed when we heard his mom and dad loudly criticizing my sister-in-law and I because 4 dishes were left in the sink after we'd had ice cream! Rob got up and blew up at them for singling out his wife and sister-in-law. (We never can tell if the dishes were clean or dirty in their dishwasher, which is why all four of us had left them in the sink in the first place!) It was an awful confirmation for my sister-in-law and myself that they were harsh and damning in their criticism of us.

After the birth of our first child, things got worse. I was struggling with a colicky baby and the transition into parenting. I felt that I couldn't measure up to their expectations, and I resented them for not seeing me for who I am. My husband was great about taking my side, but it was not fun for any of us, and I envisioned decades of misery with them.

We soon had another memorable blow-out when we set a boundary around their visits. Given how criticized I felt by them and their unrealistically high standards, I was not okay with them calling and announcing that they were coming down the next day for a multiple day visit! This happened often, until Rob put his foot down. It was a very unpleasant experience; they immediately packed up and stormed out of our house, vowing to never return.

I hated being in a battle with my husband's parents. So I was receptive when the solution was presented to me. Rob and I were at a great course called Sex, Passion and Enlightenment. The woman, Suzanne Raja, shared how when she first met her husband's family, they were dead set against her. Her parents are Jamaican and his parents are East Indian. They were not okay with their son choosing a woman from another race.

Suzanne's reaction was brilliant. She choose not to stay stuck in their rejection of her, which clearly was not personal; they would have rejected any other woman of her race. Instead, she set an intention that she would win them over, and she did. Suzanne could have chosen to be right about how ignorant her in-laws were being, but instead she choose a path that brought her in-laws out of the ignorant place they were in, and created peace for generations to come.

As I listened to her, seven or eight years into our marriage, I was struck by the beauty and brilliance of her decision. I could see clearly the two paths diverging in the woods, and I wanted off the well-trodden one. I could see that my in-laws' rejection of me was a type of culture shock; our families were polar opposite in most ways. My in-laws weren't actually seeing me, much as Suzanne's in-laws hadn't seen past the color of her skin.

Once I was able to make this simple but profound shift in perspective, my actions changed. In another article I talk about the importance of beginning with your vision for your family. Our vision for our family is a powerful tool for creating the family you want. Once I had the vision of me slowly winning his parents over, our conflict began to fade. Over the next few years, without me even being that aware of when it happened, his parents ceased to be the enemy and we began to genuinely love each other. As my attitude changed, so did theirs.

Now it is hard for me to remember fighting with my in-laws. I adore them now, and I know they adore me. I enjoy their visits and don't feel that my house has to be perfect and the kids angels in order to meet their approval. I don't feel judged, and I am not the harsh critic of them that I was. I appreciate them for bringing my husband into the world and doing the best that they knew how with him. We still have profound differences in how we choose to lead our lives, but I am able to love them anyways, and they me.

What a gift for myself, my husband and kids! I grew up well-aware of my parents' issues with in-laws. It hurt because those in-laws were my biological relatives so I felt involved in the conflict somehow. That was one of the reasons I hated being in so much conflict with my in-laws. Ironically the pattern was everywhere; my mother-in-law and hers had issues too! I was tired of the conflict that robbed us of the joy of family times, and I am so grateful that it is long done!

At first I confess I was in a negative enough space that my motivation was partly arrogance. I felt that the fact I was smart enough to take the upper hand and fix this bad situation proved my superiority. I'm glad that I evolved past that arrogance. However, even though I wish I could have been more purely altruistic, the most important thing is I changed my focus. Eventually that helped me get into a more altruistic place.

So thank you Suzanne and Satyen Raja for your amazing course, and for sharing this gold nugget of wisdom! You changed a negative pattern that had existed in both of our families for generations. You helped me to be a better person, mom, wife, and daughter-in-law while also making me so much happier. I love my in-laws now and feel truly blessed to have them in my life.
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By Natalie Tucker Miller

Have you ever given thought to how your family members relate to one another?

Not the kind of thought that criticizes how someone acts or what someone says, rather an investigative look at how your family interacts with one another on a regular basis.

The movie "Little Miss Sunshine" reminded me of how precious our relationships are, and that we seldom stop to contemplate how these interactions impact ourselves, others and our family as a whole.

This movie exemplifies fragmented family life, and the wisdom that resides within regardless of obvious discord. Wisdom, however, that is all too often compartmentalized, shut off from the larger perspective of working together for the good of everyone. In the movie, their outcome brings them a step closer to this realization.

I propose we create our family lives on purpose, with purpose rather than by default or habit.

For instance, strength, acceptance, empathy, positive sense of self; these are all qualities we probably all naturally embody, until we feel the stakes are too high.

Which stakes?

Usually an inaccurate sense of who we are. An unwillingness or inability to feel the gut wrenching pain we fear will accompany honesty. The fear that our true selves will be too much for us to face.

Challenge yourself today to pause and observe the way interactions with your family members unfold.

Notice:

* Which rote responses are offered.

* How often there is a reaction without real thought behind it.

Would you be willing to:

* Allow yourself the freedom to not react?

* Give yourself permission, for one day, to ponder what you hear rather than jump in with, what tends to be, a protective reaction?

* Spend some time simply observing the patterns that have emerged?

Often we insidiously become overly concerned with self preservation, and find ourselves in an environment that isn't supporting full engagement, deliberate living nor encouraging feeling our lives fully. Our own oppression becomes so ingrained, we lose the will to self express.

So today, I invite you take a minute, or an hour, or the day, and observe. Witness your automatic reactions to situations or conversations, noting how you show up with different people. Study how others do, as well. Begin to recognize how you would rather interact, how you'd prefer to"be" as a family.

Once you allow your true preferences to emerge, transformation will begin. As we've been told, real change begins from within. Creating the family life of your dreams is an amaz Mother-In-Laws - How to Transform One of the Toughest Family Relationships
By Jacqueline Gr
eening place to start looking inward.
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By Jerry Hubbard

Parenting is the process of raising and educating a child from birth until adulthood and is usually done in a child's family by the mother and father. Raising a toddler requires time and hard work but the rewards last forever. Your responsibilities as a parent during the toddler years include (but are not limited to) feeding, bathing, potty training, ensuring safety, teaching, and attending to the well-being of the child. Your responsibilities do not stop when children grow up and age. Good mothers and fathers are not afraid to tackle the latest issues facing today's parents.

Parents

We are always concerned about the well being of their offspring. They explain to their children how to behave, assuming that they taught the rules of behavior as they did the rules of traffic. They believe that children have positive and negative qualities, the latter of which parents should "weed out" or "prune" into an appropriate shape. We should make efforts to be aware of their adolescents activities, provide guidance, direction, and consultation. If we expect that children will sometimes act in ways that are inappropriate or undesirable, but prepare for such behavior by involving our children in the formulation of rules and consequences, we may discover that the joy is in the journey, and heaven is found along the way.

Parents who, together with their children, set firm boundaries and high expectations may find that their children's abilities to live up to those expectations grow. Talk to other parents (here is a surprise, your mother and father have a degree in raising children) about what's on your mind. When misbehavior does occur, those who have involved their children in setting family rules and consequences can expect less flack from their children as they calmly enforce the rules.

Family

To provide an atmosphere of peace and justice in family, where no one's dignity is encroached upon both the mother and the father must provide leadership. A family model where children are expected to explore their surroundings with protection from their parents requires a continual review of their choices. Without a support network of helpful friends or family, the work of parenting can be difficult. You may find the best source of help and encouragement within you own families.

After all you have two sets of experts that are willing and waiting to be consulted. Juggling a family, a career and a relationship with our significant other can be a challenge for any family and the children are most at risk. As a family discuss individual and family goals. How many times a week do you do something together as a family? (Include dinner, going out together, family events, etc.) Discussion of changes to the family routine can be started at a weekly get together so that every member of the family can consider the proposed change and voice their concerns.

Kids

Kids are not that hard to teach since they will always listen to what you have to say as long as what we have to say makes sense. Here's an idea, live what you preach. If mom or dad have bad habits their kids are certainly not going to listen to advice about eliminating their bad habits. Kids aren't a stupid. If you are concerned about their weight you need to set a time and go outside with them for a walk or a game of some kind. How can it be that parents don't realize their own kids are fat? Unhealthy eating habits not only produce long term health issues but destroy self esteem.

Get your kids to give their time to helping others in need. Build good habits early and they will last a life time. For kids bad habits are a kind of necessity, comfort, entertainment and luxury. However, kids need to be told that their habits, apart from being annoying to their parents, can cause harm to them also. What can kids do when they feel ignored or overlooked? Many are playing organized sports, and parents are seeing good habits formed, team work, body fitness and an improved sense of self worth.

Health

It is our responsibility as parents to provide physical safety, shelter, clothes, nourishment and to protect our children from dangers. Developing a child physically refers to providing conditions for the healthy growth of the child. It is extremely important to develop healthy habits in our children at a very early age. Physical activity is a necessary part of developing the child. We hear a lot about the dangers of obesity in children. Being overweight brings serious health concerns for children including diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels and increased stress on joints. It certainly is a real downer if all the child hears is don't eat this or eat only this because it is good for you.

The alternative to nagging your child is to develop their love for activity. You may have noticed that little kids love to run, jump, roll around and generally tear up their surroundings. That is a natural trait and if you develop that love of physical activity they will burn a lot of calories thereby reducing the need to diet all the time.

Parents need to realize that actions have consequences. If the only thing you and your children eat is fast food or packaged foods you will get fat. Why? Those food choices need to use things that cause weight gain in order to taste good, stay fresh and look good. If you or your kids can't bear to give up hot dogs or pizza, then check out a healthier alternative. Look for easy, healthy recipes to feed your family. Offer healthy food choices and model healthy eating behavior.

Conclusion

Parenting toddlers requires emotionally sound parents and guardians. Parenting is the most important thing we do. It is too important to leave to chance and too important to be approached defensively or by reaction. Who does the majority of the parenting? Mothers and fathers naturally, but a support network of helpful friends or family helps share the work of parenting. It can be difficult and stressful but keeping the end result in mind will lighten the load.

Good parenting includes, keeping your child safe, showing affection and listening to your child, providing order and consistency, setting and inforcing limits, spending time with your child, monitoring your child's friendships and activities and most important leading by example. Your children will copy everything you do good or bad. Take a look in the mirror to see how your child sees you.
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By Nathan Bryce

There are at least two sides to every issue. However, when push comes to shove, and family issues get involved, we often forget (or even ignore) this fact. In families, the whole may indeed be greater than the sum of its parts. The effect of the parts, however, cannot be denied.

Your family is comprised of a mixture of Blue, Gold, Green, and Orange temperaments. Each of those temperaments brings to the table an assortment of strengths and values. This is what makes each family as unique as each temperament that composes its makeup. The trick is learning to understand and value each member as part of the larger whole.

Meet the Talberts

Susan (Gold-Blue) and her husband Sam (Orange-Green) have been together for several years. When asked, both say that they are good communicators. As their relationship has progressed, both have noticed that communication about everyday things is a little strained. Susan laments that Sam doesn't listen when she asks him to do simple household tasks. Sam complains that Susan focuses too much on trivial tasks.

From her perspective, Susan's communication about completing everyday tasks is one of the ways that she indicates her concern and affection for Sam. Being primarily Gold, one of her strengths is the ability to organize the details of life and she naturally communicates love and respect through the things that she does for her family.

Sam, on the other hand, likes to live in the moment. Being primarily Orange, he is relaxed and casual about everyday tasks. He sees no immediate need to pick up clothes or make the bed. These are tasks that will be there to do later. Sam feels that days are meant to be active and full. The tasks Susan would like him to complete are not perceived as a means to that end.

What Can Be Done?

The answer to the Talbert's communication issue is not one of right or wrong. It is one of understanding. Sam needs to examine the requested tasks from Susan's perspective. Susan needs to view the requests from Sam's perspective. In short, they both need to understand what is motivating the behavior (or lack of behavior) in each other.

Once this couple sees both perspectives, they can then work on an effective solution. For example, Sam and Susan might set aside a half hour each day designated to picking up the house together. Or, Susan might agree to be in charge of pick-up duties while Sam becomes responsible for doing the cooking or the laundry. Then once the chores are done, they are both free to do other things. Regardless of the solution, both parties must come to some sort of mutual agreement.

Theory into Practice

The case of Sam and Susan is an example that we can use everyday within our families. Anytime we look through the glasses of our own personality style to the exclusion of the other styles that are present in our households, we set ourselves (and our families) up for some stressful times. Here are some ways we can value Blue, Gold, Green, and Orange people:

Blue

* Spend quality time with them.
* Listen to their concerns, and avoid providing solutions until they are requested.
* Allow them to foster compromise and cooperation between family members.
* Provide opportunities for creative development and celebrate individuality.

Gold

* Recognize their efforts and achievements.
* Make concerted efforts to be punctual and orderly.
* Clearly define expectations for behavior, tasks, and the overall relationship.
* Make and keep commitments, including the commitment to cleanliness and organization.

Green

* Give them the space and freedom to think and plan.
* Encourage them to voice their opinions and support their continued drive to learn.
* Help them accomplish the little details of the day without reducing their feeling of competency.
* Let them be the expert in a subject of their choice.

Orange

* Recognize their skills and talents.
* Allow them time to be active and spontaneous.
* Support their need to take risks and stretch limits.
* Provide them outlets for their competitive nature.

We must recognize and support the preferences and values of those within our family structure. We must learn to look beyond our own preferences and values to those of others. Only when we truly see an issue or task from an alternative point-of-view can we begin to develop plans and paths for successful communication.
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